Anti-Reception

One of the most expensive, if not the most expensive expense in a wedding is the reception. Not only is it expensive, some elements that are supposedly traditions of a typical reception are, to be honest, rubbish. Pardon if this offends you, but the cookie-cutter reception is not for every bride and groom--and it saddens me that we are boxed (and bullied) into having a tried-and-tested reception formula even if we personally don't even enjoy it.

Cafe 1771 - a non reception venue idea
Picture on the left from http://callejuan.com/
Picture on the right from J Lucas Reyes
I am anti-reception. What I mean is, personally, I didn't want the usual reception, consisting of a hotel or an events place venue with all of the frou frou you can ever imagine in my own wedding. To me, the best reception is doing it in a non-reception place. I have 5 recommended places here which I will intersperse with my blog write-up. Here goes...

If you are like us, who are sick of the usual reception formula, here's my advice:


Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://everythinginbudget.blogspot.com/
1. DON'T THINK OF YOUR GUESTS TOO MUCH: I'm sorry to say this but I don't believe in considering the guests in all of your wedding decisions all the time. You can't please everybody and trying to do so will increase your stress levels. 

There's a big difference between making sure your guests are comfortable and having fun on your wedding versus deciding on your ceremony and reception venues based on your guests' location, their preference, their age, their availability, or their side remarks. For god's sake THIS IS YOUR WEDDING. LOVE YOURSELF AND DO WHAT YOU WANT! If they don't support you, if they have nasty things to say behind your back, then you will have discovered who your real loved ones are.

Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/
2. FOOD IS KING: What is the main reason of having a reception? It's to dine and celebrate this momentous event, right? So in my honest opinion, a reception is a "glorified" mealtime with everyone. So to me, the food is the most essential element to consider. Not the venue, not the program, it's the FOOD. So why even bother with a hotel or a venue that can't even provide you with food that you love. If you are foodies like me and my groom, then food should be the highlight of a reception. Follow your taste buds, let it guide you. Mount your reception in your favorite restaurant instead. At the end of the day, guests want to be FED. Simple as that. 

3. ELIMINATE THE "NICE-TO-HAVES": Look for a restaurant that has good food and amazing ambiance and that's all you will ever need. See your wedding costs GO DOWN with all the things you will have eliminated. The best part is, your wedding will even look more unique, more beautiful, and more personal. And your wedding videographer and your photographers will be so inspired by the charm of your non-reception wedding that your photos and videos are even going to be brilliantly amazing.

Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/


4. GET A GOOD...IF NOT THE BEST COORDINATOR: Whatever you save from not having your reception in a hotel, you invest in a good coordinator. Why? Because there's one tiny downside with not having your reception in the usual wedding venue--they won't be used to having a wedding, and they would have limited wedding experience or none at all.


Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/

5. EXPECT A NON-WEDDING SERVICE & LET GO, AND HAVE FUN: As mentioned, if you are having a wedding in a non-wedding venue, then don't expect a reception-like service. Don't expect the servers of the restaurant or the banquets manager to understand every little thing you will need. You'll have to be extra patient. Don't also expect fast food service. Even the likes of McDo, when on a full-house, won't be able to have the same quick service as they would normally have. Once you have accepted this tiny downside, it's time to have fun. What your non-reception venue will offer is a totally different experience. Heavenly food, an inspired ambiance that will give your photos and videos depth, your very own private party, intimate conversations with your guests, flexible ideas that wont have the usual restrictions that hotels and venues impose, the possibilities are endless.


6. DON'T LET YOUR GUEST COUNT CONTROL YOU: Oftentimes, a hotel becomes the default reception venue for the simple reason that it can accommodate more guests. But let me ask you this: do you need all those guests? No ifs, no buts. If you had the opportunity to create the most amazing wedding you could ever dream of, in a venue that truly moves you and inspires you--and it can only accommodate 50-80 pax...then go for it. Seriously. Do you need 300 guests? Do you even know them personally? I'll leave it at that. 

Non Reception Suggestion #2
ROMULO CAFE, TOMAS MORATO


Non Reception Suggestion #3
VIKINGS, MALL OF ASIA





Non Reception Suggestion #4
SKYLINE, VIVERE SUITES ALABANG




Non Reception Suggestion #5
CAFE 1771, EL PUEBLO

Whimsy Side - Photos by Calle Juan

Lounge Side
Left Photo by Cholo dela Vega
Upper Right Photo by Arnold Camacho
Lower Right Photo by J Lucas Reyes

Cafe 1771 - The Second Floor
Left Photo by J Lucas Reyes
Right Photo by Cholo dela Vega

Cafe 1771 - The Sidebar
Left Photo & Upper Right Photo by Mango Red
Lower Right Photo by Arnold Camacho

For those of you who don't know me yet, my Boracay wedding last February was fully controlled and conceptualized by me and my groom. We kept the wedding details as a surprise to our friends and family because a) we knew that if they found out about our concept, they'd complain and b) we truly wanted to give our loved ones a taste of Boracay. The result was a non-reception wedding. We did not provide our guests with a reception--we gave our guests an EXPERIENCE. 




Photo by Mango Red

 The usual cookie-cutter wedding in Boracay consisted of a beach front reception in one of its popular Station 1 hotels, with sandcastles, golf carts, and fireworks. While there's nothing wrong with this, my groom and I felt that if we went for this route, we would have given Boracay and our guests a disservice by robbing them off of a real Boracay treat. Hence, we took them to breakfast at Real Coffee, hanging out at Mandala Spa, happy hour at The Tides' sun deck, dinner at True Food, and after-dinner drinks at Bamboo lounge. 


Photo by Arnold Camacho

In terms of the program, there were no first dances, no bouquet throwing, no love story AVP, etc. etc. Instead, we intimately gathered 35 of our closest friends to experience an Indian dinner, 2 of my maids of honor hosted the event, we had our dream team, our best men and maids of honor, and parents give out speeches, and we shared a wedding documentary we prepared that chronicled our wedding preps for one whole year. It was simple, but so powerful and memorable. We managed to convince Jason Magbanua and Amanda Tirol to talk about us--and if you are wedding dorks like us, this was truly awesome.

Photo by Mango Red

Fast forward to one week after the wedding, we had a post-wedding inuman at Sidebar, to celebrate with our friends who weren't invited in Boracay (we were upfront--and honest about this and I recommend you do the same especially if you have a valid reason for limiting your guests to a small number). The party was equally a smashing success. And if I tell you how much our "Bora Hop" costed plus the Sidebar event, it won't even come close to how much a hotel reception would cost. And we had one of the most awesomest non-reception weddings ever.

Photo by J Lucas Reyes

Fast forward again to 4 months after our wedding, wherein we were asked by my parents to have a church wedding in Manila, fully controlled by them, and their coordinator (yes they had her own coordinator), I was given cookie-cutter rules for a traditional reception. They wanted us to dance, my mom was insisting on a love story AVP,  her coordinator wanted to do that garter thing, throwing the bouquet, releasing doves, cutting the cake, I wanted to kick him so hard and punch him. It defied every thing my groom and I stood for, these things were just simply not us. So I did the most sensible thing I could think of--I hosted our own non-reception brunch with our friends, 5 hours before the wedding. My mom got the reception she wanted, but I scrapped 90% of her coordinator's program flow. 

Having a non-reception wedding is quite liberating and fulfilling. Be honest with yourselves. Are you having the usual reception in a hotel/venue because you are just trying to accommodate your guests and your family's preference? Because if that's your most compelling reason, then you need to seriously re-consider your options because IT IS YOUR WEDDING. But at the end of the day, this is not for everyone. However, if you need further convincing, let me tell you that I am not the only one who's had a non-reception wedding. RB Mica will also have a non-reception wedding, our featured Rebellious Brides Nonie, TJ, and Didi also had non-reception weddings.  All I am saying is, if you are the type who is sick of the usual reception venues, there are so many other options out there. Make it happen, have the right attitude, have the balls to follow it through, and work with the best.

What say you? Know of other cool non-reception venues? Got any questions on how to execute a non-reception venue? Comment away! :)


53 comments:

  1. Salamat. I appreciate your honesty. Rebellious nga. Well written, and well-said. Tumpak. A lot of your points are exactly the silent thoughts of many couples who are forced into a sticky situation of a hotel reception. More power.

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  2. I would've loved to have our reception in a library or museum. But then again, I had to fit 300+ people somewhere.

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  3. Or how about Gerry's Grill? The best sisig and kare-kare ever. Food is king!

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  4. Hi Fozzy,

    Thanks for your comment, and thanks for your wonderful idea to do the reception in a library/museum. I am sure your wedding turned out lovely, just the same. Perhaps, on your 5th or 10th year wedding anniversary you can have an intimate wedding in your original venue choice? :)

    Hi Anonymous,

    Thanks for sharing. Why not? If Gerry's Grill is where you want to have it, then go ahead! I can already imagine the very many creative ways to still make it pretty even if it's in Gerry's Grill :)

    XOXO,
    Kai

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  5. Dencio's also have a wedding package! Akalain mo!

    For big weddings, I suggest a warehouse (ang ganda rin sana ng barnyard pero wala tayo dito nun). One option we had was a studio used for TV shoots. Sobrang mas mura and you have lights there already!

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  6. very well said guys! :) how about a cocktail reception? costs less too! :)

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  7. i saw a pancake buffet online or maybe a pandesal buffet for a Pinoy inspired bfast wedding!

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  8. It was my mom who suggested why not have a reception at home. invite close family and friends then have a super bongga catering. in fact. she even thought of having a street food themed reception where you serve fishballs, abnoy (the orange egg), mangga't bagoong, taho, dirty ice cream and the lot. WHY NOT?

    I was honestly very happy with the reception at Cafe 1771. super value for money and no hassle at all for busy brides. i REALLY recommend Cafe 1771 for small intimate receptions

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  9. having more than 50 guests in your wedding
    who are not either family or really close friends
    is simply stupid.

    if you can't trim it, it means you're afraid.
    plain and simple.

    it's your wedding,
    why let anyone else think and decide for you?

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    1. Hmm... I guess my groom, as you have described, is afraid, plain and simple. But I guess he has the right to 'cause some of our guests are high ranking officials (talk about generals and colonels etc..). *sigh*

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  10. Great post! I really dont like traditional receptions (cringe fest). If we cant do The Elopement to Spain, then we are definitely going for a non-reception.

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  11. Thank you for the comments guys! Keep it comin' :)

    XOXO,
    Kai

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  12. one of my cousins had their wedding reception at Kamayan restaurant. All the guests, including me, of course, really enjoyed the feast! Define sulit! ;) Who doesn't love Eat-all you-can anyway. ♥

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  13. Nice selections =) Never knew places liek those existed

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  14. Wish this blog was around when I was planning my wedding 6 years ago :D
    I had an anti-white wedding gown, 24-person headcount, including bride and groom and we had dinner at Antonio's after the wedding. Everyone who was there still have fond memories of the day :)

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  15. still *has* --sorry couldn't help my inner Grammar Nazi hehe

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  16. Dear Mik,

    Thanks for sharing. We'd love to feature your wedding. Please email us at rebellious.bride@gmail.com :)

    XOXO,
    Kai

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  17. this helped me a lot!!! hope you can also give suggestions for a unique christian ceremony. i really like to do away with those traditional ones. will it be also great to have just flower girls only?

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  18. Hi Anonymous!

    Christian weddings are the best because it's so much more lenient compared to Catholic weddings! Check out our Rebellious Bride: Ellen here --> http://rebelliousbride.blogspot.com/2011/10/rebellious-bride-ellen.html

    Christian weddings are also great for beach-front ceremonies!

    An all-flower girl entourage is a wonderful rebellious idea! Keep us posted so we can feature that :)

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  19. I was sort of a rebellious bride, and I didn't even know it! :) We had our reception at Gourmet's Cafe in Tagaytay, which doesn't have aircon, but the food is great (we had steak and sole). We didn't provide our entourage outfits but just requested them to be dressed in jewel colors. We didn't have an emcee during the reception and instead just welcomed the guests ourselves and had short speeches, and that was that. We had a live jazz band but only our friends and my husband sang. My husband called it "the non-program program." :) All in all, it was a relaxed, quiet, and romantic wedding :)

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  20. And we didn't show any kind of videos though our videographer was Threelogy and they were beginning to master the onsite video 6 years ago. We had the cocktails in Gourmet Cafe's garden and I had it decorated with colorful ribbons arranged like a maypole. Our only giveaways were fans we placed on the pews of Our Lady of Lourdes. It's good to reminisce here, I had to continue my comment above :D Wish I had more support back then (like this site!), I would have been totally rebellious :) - M

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  21. Hi M,

    Thank you for sharing this with us. Please feel free to email us as well and we'd love to feature your wedding :)

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  22. wow inspiring ideas! i'm planning to get wed in boracay by june but not yet started the preps.it will be a church wedding.im thinking of having a simple lunch after the ceremony,no program, no dancing no speeches...i hope i can find a good restaurant(good food and relaxing ambiance)a resthouse type.and maybe a drinking session at night.we will be having 30 guests only.

    suggestions will be appreciated..

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    1. Hi Anonymous,

      Thank you very much for your kind words! Congratulations on your engagement! Your ideas sounds wonderful :)

      I would highly recommend the following dinner venues if you only have 30 guests:

      Bamboo Lounge -- not only is the food and the location good, they are also home to the best fire dancers in the island!

      White House -- not only is the beach front breathtaking, the food is soooo good! We super love their tuna sisig!

      Another restaurant you may want to consider, although it does not have a view of the beach, is The Steakhouse. Very intimate, romantic, and serves up--well, the best steaks in the island :)

      For more ideas, or if you want us to help you conceptualize for your big day, please email us at rebellious.bride@gmail.com

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    2. thank you for the suggestions...i love this blog site!now i know i can make it the way i wanted. keep on posting rebels!

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    3. Thanks for the positive feedback Anonymous :)

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  23. omg. This article is heaven sent! super astig! Thank you! Our wedding will be this coming May and we're planning to have, as you described, a non reception venue. We're so excited since we're the first ever to be wed there. The place is perfect. As expected, there are many who are 'kontra' because of the difficulty of access to the place. You can describe us as a rebellious couple (from prenup to wedding favors), and this place spells R-E-B-E-L-L-I-O-U-S!!! This article empowered us to just go with what we want and set aside what kontrabidas might think. Will share some of our rebellious photos after the wedding :)

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  24. Hi Kai! I absolutely L-O-V-E this article. It truly sparked the rebel in me and it really mirrored all my thoughts. I'm having a funky vintage wedding in 2 months.
    With all the checkered bwoties,peplum dresses, bright colors,guests can come in sneakers---MY FAMILY HATES IT.
    They told me "Children's party" yung dating. But really, we don't want a formal wedding and ruin the momentous day by stiffening up the atmosphere. They still don't get it though. Besides, My fiance and I will be paying for everything.

    Unfortunately,due to unseen circumstances, we now are short of our reception budget.Everything is all set and has been paid for except the caterer.
    My reception will be from 12-4pm. What can I do to have an awesome reception in my events venue(since it's been paid for), given our budget constraints?
    We've paid 1/3 of our catering package already but since we havent done the final food tasting and detailing, we can still change our food and all.

    Hope you could help me!

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    1. Hi Hayyrabbit

      WE ARE SO SORRY that we completely missed this comment :(

      We feel so bad! Please do let us know how your wedding turned out.

      Hi Guys! For direct questions/help, please email us at rebellious.bride@gmail.com :)

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  25. I once sat through a wedding of my fiance's barkada with another wife of my fiance's barkada. This girl makes me puke, she has nothing to say but panlalait. She loved the bridal gown, but hated the entourage for being late, disliked the long hour gap between wedding ceremony and reception, disliked the long travel from the church to the reception, disliked the food that was served, disliked the service of the crew, disliked the program, disliked the photobooth, disliked everything, andaming kulang, bakit ganyan, bakit ganun and I had to sit with her from the ceremony to the reception. What I hate the most is now that I'm planning my own wedding, I can often hear her voice in my head making snide comments. And I hate it. I wish I could not invite her to my wedding. But her husband is the groomsman... There goes the 'but'. I've talked to my fiance regarding this, and we both don't really know what to do with how I'm feeling towards this girl. *sigh*

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    1. Hi Muy003,

      If you really have no choice but to invite her, know that you can never please everybody when it comes to these things. The important thing is you YOU and YOUR GROOM are happy. Good Luck! :)

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  26. This article is really nice :) now im planning to have our wedding reception at the lounge area of cafe 1771. Does anyone here know if the lounge area can be reserved for 50 persons? Thanks!

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  27. Just randomly landed on this page and I love the article. Our wedding will be next year pa. I recently attended a wedding (fiance's cousin) and most of the relative guests went home after eating even if the program is not yet finished! >:( I'm worried that it'd also happen on our wedding day since the same set of relatives will come. I have no choice but to invite them, I guess I badly need to hire a very very good host then. :/

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  28. Like the others too, I stumbled upon this page by accident and I feel soooo elated that I'm not the lone person who is "rebellious" when it comes to planning my wedding. Particularly the "bullied" part, I feel that I can relate so much to what's been said and what I should really be considering! Our wedding will be this December and I still have a few days left to tweak and tinker with what my love and I are really supposed to be enjoying, and not what they expect from us. This is indeed heaven-sent! :)

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  29. I soooo love this post and the idea of an anti-reception! My bf's proposal was unexpected and having been together for 10 years we didn't prolonged the engagement and got into the wedding planning right away! We have 3-4 months of planning everything and very LIMITED budget since the wedding, well, let's just say "minadali". Many of those days in that 3-4 month window, we were procrastinating.. lol! We were looking for a venue where we can do the ceremony and the reception in one place. I had little time and didn't get much help from friends and families especially with decorating and doing the little details. And this blog post was heaven-sent literally! I looked into and researched extensively about all the venues you suggested, showed it to my fiance' and he liked it! We decided to choose Romulo Cafe' in Makati because the restaurant's decors/interiors is awesome! We love the black and white, damask and old-world feel of the place! Their buffet package is very affordable too! The service and the food is great as well! I also love the idea of a small casual yet intimate wedding, it feels more personal. Plus no gatecrashers! Lol! I collected sooo many ideas from your site and almost every aspect of our wedding can be tagged rebellious! I'm so excited for this wedding! I know our wedding will raise some eyebrows but we've waited for this for 10 years, we deserve to do whatever we want on that day, don't we? :D

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  30. Funny that I stumbled onto your site! I just called Romulo Cafe and Thai Pan earlier, and asked for their wedding reception rates, and they are very reasonable -- considering the food will be buffet-style! I didn't actually want a church wedding, but my mo and friends want to celebrate the big day with us.. so as a compromise, I said I'd have an intimate one. Hotels and reception venues for weddings are so jacked-up, it's unbelievable! Who in their right mind would want to spend 250,000 just for a few hours, diba...

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    1. i totally agree with you Rebel All The Way! There's a great chance too that you don't get to interact with all your guests. Romulo Cafe in Tomas Morato acquired an adjacent place to the original resto and it can accommodate more people, the manager from Romulo cafe in Makati told me..but we wanted an intimate wedding with our closest family and friends only so we just reserved the 2nd floor of their Makati branch. Costs is way lower than having to rent a place, hire a caterer and decorator.

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  31. Wedding receptions should be celebrated while putting the preferences of brides and grooms on top of priorities. Budget and food choices matter. Efforts taken should be focused on how the moment will be special for the most important people and not necessarily to create the best impression.

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  32. This is so me. Thanks for your blog. Now, I don't feel alone anymore!
    My fiancé and I are planning to get married next year. We would like to have an intimate one with about 20 to 30 guests. And here is a sample reply of hotels and other possible wedding venues we sent our inquiries to: 20 or 200 guests? And then, some offered us their very pricey conference rooms. We also have the feeling, they don't take us seriously because we don't want to pay 200k for just a wedding!
    Our wedding planner also raised her eyebrows, when we informed her that we don't have "abays" and bouquet throwing, etc.
    Thanks to your blog, we feel much confident right now to stick to our plan in having an intimate wedding.

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  33. I'm glad that there are a lot of women who are open to the idea of a "rebellious" wedding. I have been to a lot of weddings with all those hullabaloos and frou-frous and I feel like it's not just for me.

    Our civil wedding will be on the 20th of August. the Chief Justice will officiate the wedding. So here I am trying to look for an OK restaurant to go to after the wedding. There are only about 10-15 guests (bride and groom included). Any suggestions? :)

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    1. Hi Anonymous thank you for your comment :)

      Is your civil wedding going to be in the Commonwealth area? If it is, maybe you can consider Stacy's at Green St. Capitol Hills :) It really depends on where your ceremony is and also based on your personality. Email us at rebellious.bride@gmail so we can give your better suggestions :)

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    2. Hi,

      Court of Appeals is in Manila. So we're looking at Makati or Fort ( just because we are not familiar with the restaurants in Manila area)Thank you for your suggestion. And yes, I will e-mail you. :)

      Delete
  34. You can spend also your special day with Ailen Lim Events Planner one of the best wedding planner in the Philippines.

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  35. finally!!! I found my wedding preps bestfriend! I can breathe now

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  36. Nice Blog! well im also planning a wedding which is less expensive.thanks for giving us idea i guess romulo cafe is one of the best..

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  37. I still can't get over Avery Fisher! That place was like seeing a barn. Actually, a barn might sound better! This place is at least thousand times better!

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  38. Good thing I'm not the only one who wants a "family-only-event". I don't like weddings with everybody there I barely know (kumadres and kumpadres of moms and dads, friends of friends, cousins' bfs/gfs, etc) :) Need to check out more ideas... Thanks for the infos :)

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  39. I was a little hesitant to book this place as my reception venue at first because it was more of an unknown place. But this place turned out to be the best choice we made.

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  40. any idea rebellious reception at Manila please help! thanks a bunch! :) iloveyou rebellious kai! thumbs up! :)

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  41. I think the things you covered through the post are quiet impressive, good job and great efforts. I found it very interesting and enjoyed reading all of it..
    san diego wedding photography

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  42. Hi kai, I SUPER LOVE this blog. When my officemate planning her wedding she said its kinda nakaka stress.. And i ask why nakaka stress? And now that me and my Bf planning our wedding, medyo NAKAKA STRESS nga.. Coz my bf is not cooperatng well. He set the unrealistic budget for the wedding gor this day. So I search for the venue where we can held our rites and reception in one place. Thank GOD and we found a this cozy resto in QC. And thank GOD that I search your blog regarding thevanti reception wedding.. Pwede pla tlga ung ganon. I hope maging Ok ang lahat.. Against the tight budget that my bf set.

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  43. Best venue for a wedding, thanks for sharing this review because I was inspired on this place. There was a lot of venue and I think this is one of the best that I found, You can also check this Vibe hotel Savoy Melbourne and I'm sure you will also love this place.

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