|Creating a parody out of superstition is much more fun!|
"I've been an avid follower of your blog. I was just wondering if you guys still believe in Sukob. If somebody within your family will get married the same year as yours, you have to wait for another year so that there won't be bad luck or misfortune.
So here's the thing. I've been married with my husband by law a month before our daughter was born. Last year, my husband and I got into a random conversation of making our dream wedding come true, so we started targeting 2013 as our year. And while we were starting to look for suppliers, we realized that they usually increase their rates every year. We calculated our budget and checked if we could push it through by 2012. Kaya naman. We couldn't keep our excitement so we told our parents and family about it early last year.
Then here comes an elder sister of mine, telling that she's planning to get married soon. I thought "soon" meant to be planning for 2013. But she said that she wanted this year. So my first selflessly reaction was Wooohooo! Sa wakas! She's turning 30 this year and everybody's married already. I was very happy that finally somebody will be there for her forever.
I actually do not believe in superstitious beliefs, but there's this saying that there's no harm if you just follow. We chose to be wed in December but it's the month that I first said "Yes" to my husband, not just for wedding season's sake. I don't care if our wedding date isn't included in the auspicious dates of 2012 because I only believe that there's a higher being that will continually bless our marriage whatever state we are in.
Now, when I tell people or friends that my sister and I are getting married the same year, all of them said, "Edi sukob yung kasal mo". And even if I don't believe that, there's a negative energy that crashes my heart and it bothers me. So I defend myself by saying that I don't believe in Sukob. And for some, a way for me not to get too upset is to think that I'm already married anyway. But it feels really discouraging. What if we're not civilly married, would they still choose to believe or not?"
I don't think you owe anyone an explanation. Sukob is such a backward way of thinking. I don't believe in the superstition although I think the reason siblings try not to get married in the same year is for their relatives abroad to have a breather in terms of going home. Or for financial reasons. Now, I don't see that you've done anything wrong to feel bad for yourself. Lalo na at kasal ka na! Civil is considered married. But again, you don't have to explain that to anyone. So let go of the negative vibes and relish on the giddy feeling that getting married (again) gives you. And if someone tells you, "sukob kayo!" just smile and shrug it off :)
RB Kai here! I think that more than the Sukob concept, it is the negative energy that is surrounding you that will attract bad luck. I believe that the more pressing issue is if you and your sister are okay with sharing the limelight because a potential bride war might be the "misfortune" here and not the superstition per se. But if you guys are beyond that, then this could be the perfect year for both of you to just bond and savor every moment. Coming from a rebellious bride who went to all her gown fittings with her husband, didn't wear white, didn't wear a veil among other anti-superstition decisions and you can say that I definitely don't believe in Sukob. Don't listen to the people around you that are scaring you. It is all about the LOVE and the positive attitude. Now if you are referring to the Sukob that involves a relative dying on the same year, that's a different story--I don't believe in the superstition behind that but I think you need to pursue a wedding after a death in the most respectful way you possibly can.
Other points to consider - if you are in the same situation, and you are super close to your sister, instead of thinking of Sukob, how about creating a joint-themed-sister-wedding around it? Or how about warding off the evil energy and "fight superstition with superstition" by creating a wedding theme around lucky charms? Four-leaf clovers, wishing wells, horseshoes, etc. as your wedding elements could very well be the answer to making you feel good on your wedding day!
If the wedding year's issue is just because of wedding rates, note that if you pay downpayments in 2012 for your 2013 wedding, you should be able to negotiate for rate-increase protection.