Rebellious Brides Present: The Bigger Picture

Photography by MangoRed

Hello rebels! How's wedding planning so far? This long (but very special) piece that we are about to share with you, is perfect for those who just got engaged and are just in the first stages of the wedding planning. But even if you are already midway into your wedding preps, this could still help you take control of your preps especially if things are already getting out of hand.  

Maybe the love of your life just proposed. And all these ideas about the wedding are already pumping you up. And that's okay. It's part of what makes the engagement and the planning exciting. You'll probably start buying all the wedding magazines that you can get your hands on, secretly feeling special that you can finally buy them. You'll start searching the web, and start scheduling for your wedding expo trips.You start to form the kind of wedding you want--go ahead, absorb all the things you see, read, and hear. Just let it flow. But don't feel like you have to decide now or that this is how your wedding should be.



Then all of a sudden, while you and your groom start to agree on what you both like, everybody starts telling you on what to do too. You weren't a cake person but someone tells you -- "what? a wedding without a cake?", or your weren't really thinking of having an expensive wedding gown made then all of a sudden, you get brainwashed into thinking that it is the most important part of the wedding and you eventually end up getting yourself into paying for a designer bridal gown in the six-figure range. Everything suddenly becomes a blur, then you and your groom get confused, you start to argue, and the budgets are getting depleted. Then your excitement wanes down, then your new thought bubble is, "I just want to get this over and done with. I just want to get married". 

It's time to step back, and look at the bigger picture. What IS the bigger picture? Weddings are exciting, yes. Heck, I even had THREE weddings! Who doesn't love weddings! But I always reiterate that even if I had three weddings, my expenses will never match one, grand wedding with all the frou frou in this world. All my weddings were very SIMPLE. SIMPLE but unforgettable.  BEFORE you go into full wedding speed, always look at it in terms of what are the most relevant and most basic things that you should really give importance to. Think of it in terms of the wedding AND the marriage. Stick to it. Prioritize it, and channel the bulk of your energy and budgets into it. Then the rest of your wedding elements should just be "nice-to-haves", and don't be brainwashed into thinking otherwise. 

What are the THREE wedding essentials, really? The most practical, the most timeless. The ones that will REALLY matter for the rest of your lives when the wedding becomes a marriage? If you look at the bigger picture, it seems as though what really matters are: 1) The Ceremony - because that's what will make your wedding official and bounded by law and or your religion; 2) The Wedding Bands - because that's the sign of your love and loyalty and you will be wearing it your entire life; 3) The Documentation - meaning, your photos and videos that will immortalize your wedding for you to remember, and for the next generation to see. Everything else, even the reception, event the bridal gown are just nice-to-haves. These nice-to-haves are what will make the wedding fun. But they are not the essentials. They are not what's going to make your wedding binding, official, nor will it be the ones that are sensible to spend so much on when they will just turn moldy or will eventually be thrown away.

Now don't get us wrong. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't channel your energies into making your weddings enjoyable and exciting because that's what also makes this blog a resource for your preps. But all we are saying is, not everyone has an infinite budget for the wedding, and some are not actually willing to spend so much on the wedding even if they have the budget for it. And we agree on that completely. That's why we are saying, if you need to be more practical, then look at the bigger picture. It's okay to fuss about the gown, the bouquet, the invitations and all the whatnot but stick to your budget and reallocate a chunk of it to what will last a lifetime. 

Now once you've got your Ceremony, Wedding Bands, and Documentation in order then THAT'S the time you start having fun with the other elements, and THAT'S the time you set budgets for it. THAT'S the time you can allow all the ideas to just flow and go rebelliously awesome with it. 

But even for your 3 essentials, there are tricks to make it more affordable and practical without compromising quality and tastefulness. For instance, society says that the ceremony HAS to be in the church. But if you really want it to be civil, if you really want it to be by the beach or in any other venue not allowed by the church, or you actually want to do it in a "secret, quaint, chapel", don't let others bully you. Make it work. Make it work because it's YOUR wedding.  
The ceremony has to be the place where you actually want to get married and not where others expect for you to get married. You'll be surprised by the endless possibilities on where you can bind your marriage, in the most personal place you could ever imagine if you could just open your mind and just be confident about it. The best part is, these other options could even be more affordable! Affordable but memorable! 

Next is your Wedding Bands. Society dictates or would make you believe that it has to be this, it has to be like that, it has to be a perfect smooth surface or else your marriage will be in trouble. And all of a sudden it's like you are in high school where you get caught up with who has the better, more expensive ring in the group. But what is important is that it's the ring that you've always wanted. A ring that you wouldn't mind wearing every single day, for the rest of your lives.  

 A ring that will make you want to shout to the world that you are married to the love of your life. It doesn't have to be "bling bling", it doesn't have to be the most expensive designer wedding bands you could find. But it definitely has to be of great quality for the simple reason that you wear it every day. This is the kind of wedding expense that you shouldn't really skimp on. And remember that it doesn't actually have to be gold or adorned with diamonds. Tungsten is the hardest metal in the world--it is fast becoming a popular wedding band because it signifies eternity, sturdiness, and being unbreakable. And get this--it's also uber affordable. 

Third is your Documentation. Others would have you believe that "they all look the same" or that you can just get 1 supplier to do both the photo & video for the simple reason that it's easier to work with just 1 team and it makes costs efficient. While this may be true, always remember that when it comes to your documentation, it's not about who can give you the best deal. It should be about the kind of photos & videos that will move you. 

The kind of photos that are really adding new dimensions to your ideas. The kind of photos that make you feel like a million bucks. The kind of documentation that can last a lifetime, and of generations to come.  This can get pricey. But this is the kind of wedding investment that we feel deserves a budget. And there are tricks to still save a lot even if you are getting the very best! For instance, opt for the lowest package of the photographer rockstars. Invest in them but know your limits. Their "Service Only" packages are more than enough. You can make your albums on your own anyway. And you can forgo the prenup. What is this prenup for anyway? What is its REAL importance. Look at the bigger picture. Same thing with your videography. Can't afford Jason Magbanua? Then opt for his For You Are Mine team! You want Ian Cruz? Then avail of his "Same Day Edit Only" package! It's not about if you can afford them...sometimes it's because you want to get them PLUS their most premium package. Again, know your limits and look at the Bigger Picture. Invest in great photos & video, but stick to the packages that you can afford. 

When we decided to get married, the first things I did were: Text Jason Magbanua (Documentation), bought our wedding rings the next day (Wedding Bands), got Amanda Tirol (Ceremony), met with MangoRed (Documentation) in that order. I didn't go to expos. We only attended one, just for the heck of it and that was it. Everything else...the fun part, the ideas, those things just unfolded for a year. While I don't claim to be the best at budgeting our finances, I am proud to say that I didn't have as much stress and frou frou for our wedding and I enjoyed my preps immensely. Because I stuck to our 3 basic, most wedding essentials and accepted the fact that I don't have a big budget for the other elements, that's the time when I had to be rebelliously creative with the other aspects of the wedding.

Being a Rebellious Bride, is not just about your wedding ideas. Sometimes, being rebellious is actually about going against the conformity by SIMPLIFYING your wedding.

XOXO,
Kai

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