Love in the Time of a Crisis - A "Brainstorming Session"

 Photo credits are at the bottom of the post

So your wedding has been postponed because of the current crisis. At first you thought, you can just move the date to the 4th quarter of the year. But now, that doesn't even seem feasible anymore. Maybe you and your guests have lost your jobs, and you can no longer financially support the upcoming wedding. Or maybe you are just afraid to push through because of all the fear and uncertainty you see in the news.

 Reality is kicking-in, the dust has settled. It's time to accept that your dream wedding is a thing of the past. It's not going to happen. BUT will you stop there? Or maybe it's time to pick yourself back up and say, I AM NOT GIVING-IN TO FEAR. Love is love. Do you want to delay your love? Because at the end of the day, the dream wedding was a "nice-to-have." What matters most is getting married to the one you love. What we are saying is, it's time to claim your own love story and claim your own control over the situation. Love must conquer all. Love must win over EVIL. What we are trying to say is, the initial shock of your canceled Spring/Summer wedding is done. Time to accept the things you cannot control, and move on. Now, it's time to find the creative solutions as to how you can still get married to your fiance. Remember your fiance? The love of your life? The person you were so excited to spend the rest of your lives with? The person you cannot live without, the person who makes you happy? Remember that the wedding was, and still is, about the two of you. And that's worth surviving all of this.

The title of this post says that this is a "Brainstorming Session." In the creative industry, that means going on a "huddle" with the team for an upcoming advertising campaign, and just throw all the possible ideas out there without shooting the ideas down. So that's what we'll do now. We are going to throw some ideas on how to claim your love and push through with a wedding. DON'T SHOOT OUR IDEAS DOWN. Just read through it, and if something sticks to you, TRY IT OUT. Maybe it appeals to you and maybe it will work. So here goes:

1. What if you or your friends/family know a wedding officiator who can perform the wedding rites, as in right now? A grand wedding is no longer possible, but what if you can do it at home (socially distancing with the officiator), style your house with the wedding decor you might have stocked-piled, then have your friends/family watch through zoom? Do your vows, wear your gown/suit, put on the rings. Make sure all the paperwork has been done, and either keep it for now to be properly filed, or send it over to the proper channels.

2. What if you can have a friend/family member go online to be a registered officiator? Then do all the things we said in Number 1? *Sidenote: If you are from the Philippines but engaged to an American citizen or other nationalities, maybe this is an option too. Maybe a Philippine wedding is not possible for now but a foreign one might do. You just have to keep the paperwork and eventually send it to the States or in other countries that allow for online officiator registrations.

3. Maybe you are a Catholic and want a church wedding. Yes that's totally not possible now but perhaps you an do it civilly with the suggestions above. At least for now.

4. You no longer have the funds to push through with the wedding but what if your deposits are no longer refundable? Are you just going to let that money go down the drain? Are you just going to raise the white flag and surrender? No. Maybe you can re-schedule the wedding and still do a scaled down version of your wedding once the lockdown ends. Find a common ground with your suppliers for a discounted rate for a scaled down wedding.


If your venue does not allow for cancellations and you know that a percentage of your guests are no longer able to attend your wedding (ie. guests who are sick, old, abroad, etc.), then try to negotiate for a new rate for an intimate wedding. Then do a live stream of the wedding and send a link to guests who can no longer attend.

If your wedding gown is halfway done or you already paid a portion of it but you can no longer pay for the balances, collaborate with your designer.  Revise the style/materials used on your gown so that you only have to pay for what your new budget can accommodate. Perhaps go for a non-beaded gown? Or a knee-length dress? Perhaps you are thinking, "but that's now what I wanted." Yes we know. But we are talking about pushing through with the wedding despite the current climate. It's about adjusting on what can and cannot be done right now, w/o having to cancel the wedding rites all-together. 

If you can no longer pay for the balances for other aspects of the wedding ie. Styling, Flowers, Make-up, Photography, Video. etc., again try to meet halfway as to what they might be able to accommodate based on a scaled down wedding.  Scale down on the styling/flowers. Negotiate with your make-up artist, photo, video if they can re-compute your rate to an elopement rate or a prenup rate since your wedding is going to be scaled down anyway. In your case, you are doing this because funds are tight. But on the supplier's side, it's better than zero work, zero income. It's a fair compromise. Try to find a common ground with your suppliers. Remember that they are also suffering financially. So you gotta help each other out, or else, the entire wedding industry will suffer and there might not even be suppliers to work with in the future.

What if you only had the ceremony, and skip the reception? Seriously the essence of getting married is to have the wedding rites. So if you don't want to delay your marriage, you can just go for the ceremony for now, and celebrate after. That way, you still put your wedding coordinator and suppliers to work (you paid for their services anyway, so might as well push through with the important half of the wedding)

5. What if you really would rather just wait for things to calm down and you don't want to get married at all. Hire a lawyer to go over all of your contracts and see what can be done in terms of refunds, cancellations, etc. Don't take the word of your hotel, caterer etc. Sometimes when the hotel simply says "NO," our tendency is to give-in. But what if you are protected by consumer rights? You never know unless you try. Or perhaps you can re-schedule 1 year, or 2 years from now and they can give you a voucher. But then again, that seems like a long time to wait for marriage weigh your options on whether you really want to wait or just do it now with a scaled down wedding.

  Again, this is a brainstorming session. We are just throwing ideas out there, we don't know if they will work but at this point, why not try. All we are saying is, do not let the scary world get you. Cheesy as it sounds, LOVE MUST CONQUER ALL.  Because if not, then what are we still living and fighting for?

And on that note, we hope this also gives future couples some time to reflect. Never plan a wedding that is beyond your means. Wedding blogs, magazines, friends, family, will have an influence on how you plan a wedding.  But if there's one thing we have learned during this virus, our reality can just be taken away in an instant. Weddings are going to be changed by this crisis in the few months and years to come. It's time to reflect on what's important during a wedding, and maybe take a deeper reflection if the "nice-to-have"/"frou frous" are still worth it.

The photos that were used originally appeared in this feature:


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