Anti-White

(DISCLAIMER: The title is not meant to be a derogatory term)

--------

When J Lucas Reyes saw me during our Brunch shoot, 5 hours before our second wedding, he took one look at my pink gown and said "Grabe sobrang anti-wedding mo talaga!"


Left - My Bridal Gown for our First Wedding in Boracay, by Hindy Weber Tantoco (Photo by Mango Red)
Right - My Bridal Gown for our Second Wedding in Manila, by Tadashi Shoji (Photo by J Lucas Reyes)

Even before my first wedding in Boracay, I already knew that I was not going to be destined for a white wedding gown. There was one time in college, when out of curiosity I bought a wedding magazine and my friends and I looked at every page, and I announced to them, I won't wear white when my time comes. My friends tried to convince me otherwise. They said, it's the only chance you'll ever get to wear a white gown! My only thought balloon was, was wearing a white gown a milestone in life? Because from what I could recall, you already had to wear a white gown during baptism, and a white dress during your first communion--isn't that enough?!?!?

The Shoe Issue


"Nina and Dolph" - Bridal Shoes # 1
Photo by J Lucas Reyes

One fine day, I found myself in a heated debate with Friend #1 who was referring to Friend #2's wedding. Friend #1 said, Friend #2's wedding was nice but she didn't quite understand why Friend #2 wore a red pair of shoes.

I was intrigued and surprised by Friend #1's reaction because I always thought she was an open-minded person. I didn't realize that when it came to weddings, she had very conservative beliefs. So I probed. She said that a white wedding gown, deserves a white pair of wedding shoes--it's what matches, and it's been the custom ever since. To defend Friend #2, I explained that more and more brides now practice wearing colored pumps underneath their wedding gowns. Friend #1's brows raised, she said "Really? I didn't know that. Is that the fashionable thing to do nowadays? It's too casual!".

The Gown & The Groom

A couple of days before Regine Velasquez got married to Ogie Alcasid, she was interviewed by 24 Oras to ask if Ogie has already seen her gown. She said "Of course not, bawal diba?". The reporter followed up the question, "Why?" Regine had an irritated look on her face. "Sabi nila eh. I don't know. Surprise?" -- This is a classic example, of a bride, who was told she was not allowed to have her gown shown to her groom based on a rule/superstition that we blindly follow. 

Photo lifted from: http://people.howstuffworks.com/
 Where did this rule come from? For all we know, it was made up long, long time ago, in some far away province, where a mother had her "kumare" make a gown for her daughter, then the girl's mom saw the dress, thought it ugly, so she gave a gulp and told the groom --- "bawal makita ang gown! mamalasin kayo!" -- it was the first thing that came to her mind because she feared that the groom might run away from her daughter if he sees the ugly gown. But the groom insisted and took a peek of the bride fitting the ugly gown. As guessed by the mother, the gown scared the groom off--and news of this damned story, reached far and wide....with people murmuring "naku malas nga", "malas", "malas" tsk tsk tsk. Who knows?!?!?

Rebellious Bride - Nadine

Nadine's wedding is the perfect example that being "rebellious" can also look very chic and classy -- A bride that was clearly able to find a balance between tradition and uber coolness, and assert her and her groom's own individuality. 


Here are some very interesting ideas from Rebellious Bride, Nadine Wee-Sayson's own "Rock Royalty" wedding!


All Photos by Mango Red 


A little secret...


Nadine writes: "Sassa (gown designer, Sassa Jimenez) and I actually have a secret. My gown, which may look white / off-white is actually peach  underneath.  


-- Being "rebellious" doesn't always have to be in-your-face. Sometimes, having your own "little secret" is enough to get you by :)

The "Lucky" Date

10, 10, 10 wedding in Singapore
Photo lifted from: http://2gether-wedding.blogspot.com
A close friend of mine, was forced by her grandparents to choose a wedding date, that was consulted with a feng shui expert to be a lucky date. 


The supposed wedding date was so lucky in fact, that there were hundreds, perhaps even thousands of Chinese weddings scheduled for that day. So for that particular date, they couldn't get ALL their preferred wedding vendors--- from her ultimate dream gown designer, to the videographer, to the caterer, to the Church. Everyone was so booked in fact, that they can't even get their second and third wedding vendor choices. 



Rebellious Celebrity Brides

Photo lifted from: http://songbirdsource.blogspot.com
I commend these ladies for having the guts to defy convention knowing that their choices are going to be scrutinized, sensationalized, judged, and exaggerated a thousands times more than a regular bride. 

I may not personally like their choices but I have high respect for these Rebellious Celebrity Brides for the simple reason that their courage is such an inspiration. 

Here are the  Rebellious Celebrity Brides of 2010 - early 2011. Starting off with the most scandalous of all.

The Engagement Ring

"Traditionally", a bride wears two rings. Her engagement ring, and her wedding ring. And that's perfectly fine, don't get me wrong. However, I personally don't find it practical to have two rings. What for? Why do I need two? Unless I find a valid reason for it, I am happy that my husband followed my instructions not to get me an engagement ring. Little did I know though, that he still planned on proposing to me in his own, rebellious way :) 

Photo taken by Mango Red
Instead of an engagement ring, my husband got me engagement earrings. He said everyone else would have a ring, so this was his own, grand way of saying I was special and that it was worth the investment. My diamond earrings twinkle like stars. The earrings were from Racquel Talpacido-Ilustre of Love Rocks Jewels. The very same website that I used to frequent when I was visualizing my own engagement. I love it to death. When I was engaged, and people learned of it, it cracked me up when their eyes would automatically search for a ring on my finger. I'd play with my earrings and I'd feel like I'm Jem from Jem and the Holograms for some reason. Hehe.


Engagement rings can be tricky--they are expensive and society has made you believe that not all rings are created equal because of the diamond's cut, quality, size, brand, among other things. It's enough to scare off a boyfriend, who may want to propose but has been confined into the notion that he is not worthy of his lady if he can't even afford a decent diamond ring. 


Think about it long and hard. Do you need one? Or do you need the most important man in your life to commit without having to worry and have sleepless nights about a bloody ring? 

Definition of The Rebellious Bride

Photo by Mango Red
Fairy tales have implanted a certain longing for girls to get married in a grandiose, Disney-princess kind of way. And although there is nothing wrong with that at all (because Cinderella-ish weddings are also awesome! ), not all girls grow up to be the bride they thought they would be.

Meet The Rebellious Bride. She finds that she longs for more than the usual wedding lists and lusts. She craves for something new, something to defy in order to define (her personality, her groom's...their bond). 

The Rebellious Bride is not aiming for a "timeless" wedding. She is aiming to capture her wedding in a "time capsule." A perfect 'screen capture' or 'Polaroid' of how she and husband are like during that point in time. She wants to be able to tell her grandchildren the story of her purple bridal dress or how she insisted on a wedding inside a children's museum.